Category Archives: things aren’t going well

I’m not sure what’s going on

I don’t think I’m too bad as a person. I try my best and stuff. But recently I’ve been, well, ignored by some of my family. It started with not getting a birthday card from an aunt, then my sister.

Now I sent a text to say my little one has conjunctivitis, and got no reply. So I sent another one, asking if anyone had sympathy for him (he’s 5 months old). Still nothing. I mean, I wasn’t expecting much, just a text message asking how he was maybe.

And it’s nearly the end of the holidays, and my sister hasn’t met up with me once during the day.

I know I’m whining, but I haven’t slept for 3 days, I’m looking after a poorly baba and trying to amuse a toddler, all without spending any money.

And it hard when it feels like there’s no one else cares.

Ok, rant over! I have to get the kids ready and go out.

Poorly Sick

So, since the last time I posted, big kid got poorly sick. Properly. This is unusual, although he has his fair share of coughs and colds, he’s rarely actually ill.

This led to a bit lot more staying in the house, and a little lot more snacks and bad stuff. So… I went to the gym yesterday, first day on weights (scary). Did ok, survived and felt fine. Husband started work at lunchtime, so brought the kids home and fed the baby (big one still not well), then I got a migraine. Recently, I’ve been having different migraines, ophthalmic ones, which was a bit unnerving until I googled it to find out it’s nothing to panic about!

However, it didn’t go away, I got worse and worse, ending up moving the kids into my bed, so we could all lie down. Big kid took this opportunity to start getting better, and got lively again. I ended up dizzy and faint, and husband had to come home. I felt awful (literally) and awful (guilty) as he’d had to leave work, but I physically couldn’t get up and move round properly.

Hoping this was a one off!!! Not letting it put me off. Had a rest day today, went to fat class, lost 1lb. Not great, but better than I expected. We learnt about labelling today, and basically how most of the when you pick something because it says ‘diet’ or ‘light’ it’s not that good. I was surprised by how much sugar was in cereal bars!! Haven’t eaten them since I was pregnant, but I won’t be eating them again!

Back to the gym tomorrow. Afternoon this time, and I’ll drink lots more, as that seems to be the key. I get migraines for eyesight (all good, fairly new glasses), blood pressure (currently behaving) and dehydration (doh!).

Fairly easy to fix though, that’s a good thing. Well, I need to sleep. G’night folks! Good luck to anyone braving anything new tomorrow xx

It’s a biscuity kinda day…

So far today, I have eaten 2 weetabix, some vegetable crisps and 5 digestive biscuits. I feel sick. I won’t be getting out for a walk, as my big kid is ill.

Not going well, come back resolve! I need you! Where has motivation gone??

On another note – I sent his to my husband at work, it about sums up my day so far:

Mammy day care would like to point out that sick Toddlers and one toothed vampire babies are not accepted in day care. Sick toddler is either hot or cold and is residing on the sofa, refusing to let mammy leave. Whilst vampire baby was being put to bed for biting people and extreme tiredness, sick toddler’s toe was bitten by a passing cat. Cat has been ejected, no injuries or tears, cat not told off as possibly self defence.

I should change that to probably self defence though!

Off the rails a little bit….

So… Yesterday was ok, foodwise. I went to the gym first thing, 300 and 20something calories later (not much, but it’s a start) I caught up with the family, we took largest to an indoor play place, had lunch (jacket potato) at a supermarket, and then hit the beach for a little walk.

20120812-222747.jpg

20120812-222801.jpg

Little was teething, that’s why he’s eating his wrap.

I made a pretty decent evening meal (even if I do say so myself!)

20120812-222918.jpg
And then had an argument with husband which resulted in him sleeping in the sofa. Apparently, he waited all night for me to come and tell him to go to bed. I didn’t.

So, today was pretty bad, foodwise. There may have been sweeties.

I tried to redeem myself with a healthy lunch (giant cous cous and beans with salad)

20120812-223146.jpg

But… We had a mini BBQ, so I’m way over on my protein and carbs for today. I also had 2 alcohol free beers. Which is just pointless calories!!!!

20120812-223323.jpg
And then because things had gone wrong, I had chocolate. Followed by icecream. The cone looked evil, but I still ate it.

20120812-223425.jpg

Little baba cut his tooth today. Part came through and he cut the rest biting an ice cube (in a net thingy) that I’d giving him to try and numb it.

So… Tomorrow I get back on the straight and narrow. I haven’t any exercise planned, but will at least fit a walk in somewhere. And no sweeties. And the right amount of carbs and protein. I am not messing this up because other things in my life are messed up!

Tomorrow is another day, and I’m going to sleep so it comes faster. G’night all, hope you’re doing better than me xx

Annual Haircut and falling off the wagon

So, today I got my haircut. All my money seems to disappear, so I don’t ever often have spare money. So I get it cut as short as possible (so I can still tie it up though, important with small kids). That way it doesn’t get too long. My hair is still at the falling-out-having-just-had-a-baby stage. Hair dresser gave advice – good shampoo, and brush gently.

My mother bought me new conditioner after finding out I had just bought wilkinsons own brand. Well, it was on offer!!

Food wise, the day started well, with porridge and banana. Then it got a little bit bad, at starbucks… I’d like to think a skinny latte isn’t that bad!

Then my mam and stepdad took me out for lunch… I had decide if I was being bad or good.

My logic is this: if I deny myself treats for my birthday (i really don’t ever go out normally), then I’ll be demoralised and less likely to continue. That’s me excuse anyway!

So… A half pint of lager, cheese and bean toastie and chips, skinny latte number 2 and cupcake later…. Then pizza and an icecream for tea. It looks worse in writing!

Back on the wagon tomorrow!!!!!

Husband wants to join me, so we’ll see how that works out for us (hopefully better, as we’ll motivate each other to be good).

In other news, I bought a wine home brew kit for my husband. It was £3. Let’s see what happens with that too.

So, I had a nice day out, no kids for the first time since baba was born, husband enjoyed being trusted with both kids for the first time too. Although I was happy to see that he looked slightly relieved when I got back.

I bought a kids introduction to phonics today as well, it wasn’t how I learnt to read, and I think I need to understand it before my kid starts learning it! You wouldn’t believe I was a qualified teacher, would you?

I’m gonna drink some wine now, and not the tiny weeny glass I had last night! Well, only 2 days of my 20s left!

Why does my head hurt so?

I wish I didn’t know why…..

I have a hangover. Complete with big head pain and feeling sick. They got me shots for my birthday. I don’t know what I drank, but it wasn’t very nice. And now I am ill. And I’ve been eating crap all day, including a McDonald’s sandwich (I’m blaming my sister for that, as she told me that the veggie deli sandwich is now vegetarian). Currently waiting for Chinese food. Comfort eating is not a good thing! I’m going to be 30 years old and 30 stone if I keep eating this crap!!!

But my head hurts too much cook today…

Day 0 and a bit

So… Dropped off at Zumba silly early and the place is still locked. Didn’t want to keep the kids here any longer as they were screaming, and didn’t have time to go home and come back.

Forgot to say on my earlier post:
16.1 weight by NHS lady. I don’t do kilograms and stuff, but may figure it out at some point. It’s a bit boring outside the community centre. Lots of cars and not much else.

(break involving lots of ladies in a room bopping about (in my case, wobbling my bits) to loud music)

I was stood up for Zumba. Such is life. Waiting for bus home. Feeling glamorous and sweaty.

Need to find something to eat when I get home, husband asked (as we were leaving supermarket, where’d he’d bought food for tea) if I wanted him to make me something for when I got home. My answer “did you buy me anything to eat?” guess what? He didn’t. What a charming man.

And he’s off to play squash when I get back. I shall fend for myself!

Things aren’t going too well.

20120718-233246.jpg

Well, my blood pressure seems a bit better, but that’s not what I’m referring to. Things with husband suck right now. A lot.

And I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do about it.

Any ideas world?

I’m sure we’ve been here before. So why don’t I know what to do?

On a less serious note, I will soon be 30. I need to decide how to deal with that too.